


I Need A Moment to Quiet This Pain

by Voidfish



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Chronic Illness, Eda's curse as a chronic illness, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I will make that a tag, Lilith being not the worst, lilith's redemption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:20:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26959471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Voidfish/pseuds/Voidfish
Summary: “What’s the last thing you remember?” Lilith asked, ignoring her.Eda thought about this. Thought back to the duel for the emperor’s coven, thought back to leaving the field, savoring the look of shock on Lilith’s face, like she would actually take this from her, when -Eda shuddered. “Pain.”---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Eda, the curse, and the pain that is causes at four separate times in her life.
Relationships: Eda Clawthorne & Lilith Clawthorne, Eda Clawthorne & Luz Noceda
Comments: 4
Kudos: 112
Collections: All things Disney





	I Need A Moment to Quiet This Pain

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Grasses by Daughter of Swords, which is about chronic illness as well. 
> 
> As a chronically ill person into the Owl House, when I saw the curse I knew I had to write about it from my own experience. And then since I'm me I also needed to add Luz and Lilith. I tried to base this on chronic pain in general and not a specific disorder but I have fibromyalgia so that's the disorder that fits the symptoms best because that's what I know.
> 
> We never get Eda's exact age when she was cursed and what she is now besides that Lilith is two years older, Lilith finished Hexside, the curse ages Eda and she's over 30 and very flirty. I went with 16 for being cursed and 40s (42) for now but that could be completely wrong.
> 
> Is Eda a little nicer in this towards Lilith than she will be in canon? Is Lilith more apologetic in this than she will be in canon? Probably. Doesn't stop me from hoping.

It was the light, streaming through the doors, that made Eda moan and curl up tighter against herself. Her head pounded, a steady rhythm, and her whole body ached. She couldn’t help but let out another whimper at the pain. She didn’t know where she was, what was going on, she barely knew who she was, but what she did know was that everything hurt.

“Edalyn?” A voice called out. It was soft and hesitant. Eda nodded but the sensation just sent more pain coursing through her body.

“Hey,” she slurred instead. She refused to uncurl from the position she was in, lying on the ground with her knees tucked into her chest and her head resting between her knees. There was dirt and leaves sticking out of her hair, which was a tangled mess, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. 

The door cracked open more and Eda let out a hiss. It quickly shut, though louder than the witch would have liked, and before long a familiar face was in front of her. “Are you okay?” Lilith asked. Her bright red hair was tied back in a quick ponytail and behind her glasses her eyes were red, like she had been crying. Eda didn’t know why.

“‘M great,” Eda chuckled, even though the sound was hollow. “What happened?”

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Lilith asked, ignoring her.

Eda thought about this. Thought back to the duel for the emperor’s coven, thought back to leaving the field, savoring the look of shock on Lilith’s face, like she would actually take this from her, when - 

Eda shuddered. “Pain.” She said. “I was leaving the field, and then there was pain, and now I’m here.” She stretched, feeling the tension in her sore muscles as she detangled herself and slowly sat up. Lilith helped, hands flitting to find the best way to position her. Eda was almost mad about this - she didn’t need coddling - before another movement elicited sharp pain and Eda’s vision swam.

“Edalyn!” Lilith cried, quickly grabbing her as she crumbled. The older witch took a hand to her sister’s forehead. “You’ve got a light fever,” she admitted. She sounded troubled.

“Lily, what happened?” Eda asked.

Lilith’s face darkened. “Someone cursed you,” she confessed, eyes flitting everywhere but her sister’s face. “You… you transformed into an owl beast, back at the field.” Lilith got up and started to pace as she continued. “We found you and got you home, but no matter what we tried you wouldn’t change back. I was...I was so worried we’d lost you, Edalyn,” she disclosed, tears pricking her eyes. “But we found a potion, and it clearly worked.”

“That’s good,” Eda said. It was all she really could say. There were a million questions running through her head - who cursed her and why, how permanent was the curse, why couldn’t she remember anything, and what did Lilith mean by “owl beast?” Most of all, she wondered, why did it hurt so badly?

“You never answered me. Are you alright?” Lilith asked again.

Eda sniffed, trying to will herself not to cry. It was just her sister, but still, she couldn’t show weakness. “It hurts.” She admitted.

Lilith’s eyes widened. “What hurts?” She asked.

“My head, my body, it all hurts, I’m so tired I don’t think I can stand,” Eda said. “And worst of all, my mouth tastes like dirt,” she attempted to joke.

Lilith frowned. “That would make sense, you did eat dirt.” Lilith dusted her hands off on her uniform and kneeled down, offering help to Eda. “Let’s get you inside and see what we can at least do about the headache.”

Eda nodded.

***

Lilith left.

Lilith left, joined the Emperor’s Coven, and Eda went out on her own. That was okay - she was forging her own trail. She was making her own destiny.   
  
She was lost in the woods.

Eda let out a groan. She had been lucky to find a potion that worked on keeping the curse at bay. The formula had changed slightly from the first one that Lilith came up with, Eda adding ingredients that made the potion stronger and came with less side effects. Unfortunately, there were still some things that seemed like they would never go away.

She wasn’t in nearly as much pain as she was after a transformation. That was always the worst, the sharp pain in her joints and muscles and the pulsing, throbbing headache combined with nausea and fatigue. No, she wasn’t dealing with that daily, thanks to her own wits and clever thinking. But she was still tired, still moved slower than a woman her age should. And that was the other thing, Eda thought as she came across a puddle. Looking down she saw a graying woman in her reflection. It was ridiculous, she shouldn’t be graying by now, and yet the cursing was aging her. Another thing she lost.

Eda growled, savoring the way the sound bounced off the trees and reverberated into the forest. So here she was, aged and cursed and stuck with an owl beast always one potion away from wreaking havoc to her life. Anyone else would have let the realization weigh them down, would have drowned in the despair. Instead, Eda smirked.

Owls. Owls, she could work with that theme.

***

“Are you sure I can’t get you anything?” Luz asked again, her face etched with worry. “I can bring you another blanket, or a glass of water, or if you want King to snuggle with.”   


Across the room King let out a grunt. “I snuggle with no one,” he announced, taking the stuffed animal in his arms and cradling it tighter.

Eda sighed. “Listen, kid, I just need some rest,” she explained to her protege. “Trust me, I’ve been dealing with this a lot longer than you have.”

“How long have you had your curse, Eda?” Luz asked, eyebrows furrowing. 

Eda shrugged, grimacing as the sensation caused pain to spread. “Let’s see, I was cursed at 16, so…”

Luz gasped “That’s like, 50 years.”

“What? No!” Eda exclaimed. “Titan, how old do you think I am? It’s been 26 years. I’m only in my 40’s.”

“Then why do you look so old?” King asked, sitting up and holding onto his stuffed animal.

“It’s part of the curse,” Eda admitted. “It made my hair gray, and it gives me wrinkles, and apparently it makes you both rude because you should never assume a lady’s age.”

“Wow,” Luz exhaled, cheeks going pink. “I had no idea, Eda. I’m sorry. King, did you know?”

King shook his head. “Nuh uh,” he said. “Eda remains a mystery.”

“Hey,” Eda said, leaning over and ruffling Luz’s hair. “You don’t need to worry about me. I’m okay, see?” She moved into a sitting position. She paused when she got there, panting, one hand firmly placed on her lower back as if it held back the pain emanating from the spot. 

“What else does the curse do?” Luz asked. “If King and I know we can help make things easier for you.”

“I could help,” Hooty said, door swinging open. “I’ve always wanted to be Doctor Hooty, M.D.”

“Can it, Hooty,” Eda shouted, fist raised.

“Fine. Jeez.” Hooty said, door slamming shut.

Eda looked at King and Luz, who both looked up at her with wide and worrying eyes. No matter how much they may joke, she realized, they really did care about her. 

“On a day to day basis,” she explained, “it doesn’t really stop me. Sure, it makes me gray and a little sore, but nothing that I can’t handle. After transformations all I really need is a nap.”

Luz moved quickly, hand reaching up and touching Eda’s forehead before the older woman could stop her. “You’re burning up,” Luz said. Eda felt a pang of nostalgia, thinking about the first few times she had transformed, thinking of Lilith looking up at her with those same sad eyes.

“Okay, I may have a little fever and body aches,” Eda divulged. “And I’m tired and I have a headache. But really, nothing time and a nap won’t fix.” Eda leaned down, getting comfortable on the couch. “See? Nothing like a nap.”   


King nodded. “Nap time,” he announced, circling himself before finding a comfortable position to lie down in.

“C’mon, Luz,” Eda said. “Everybody’s napping. It’s the latest trend.”   
  
Luz sighed, but lied down on the floor. “Please be okay,” she said to Eda, voice barely a whisper.

All Eda could do was nod.

***

Eda sighed, leaning back against her nest and trying to get comfortable. After a daring rescue on Luz’s part she was away from the Emperor and back in the Owl House. In truth, it had been a long while since she had been in Owl Beast form for that long and it had made her incredibly sore. Her head lightly pounded and her muscles ached, and yet she felt significantly better than she had in past transformations.

Right, she reminded herself, because now she was only half cursed. 

Lilith had taken the other half. And that should have made her feel happy, or sad, or anything. Lilith, who had sacrificed her own health to save her sister, who had been kicked out of the Emperor’s Coven for aiding them. Lilith, who had cursed Eda in the first place, who had ran away when Eda needed her most. In truth, Eda was just confused by the whole situation.

Eda heard the sound of footsteps outside her door. She froze, eyes closed and pretending to be asleep. She readied her hands to cast magic at her adversary before realizing that was no longer an option. Instead, she clenched her hands into fists.

The door creaked open and light footsteps approached the bed. The figure leaned over, hand reaching towards her. Eda jumped forward, and the figure fell backwards, scrambling away.

“Edalyn!” Lilith screamed. She stopped, panting for a moment. In the moonlight she just looked exhausted. “You scared me.”

“That’s what you get for sneaking up on me when I was sleeping,” Eda said, eyes narrowing. “Again.”

Lilith’s face flushed. “I don’t...I’m sorry...I, I should go,” she said, moving towards the door. Eda considered letting her close it before stopping herself.

“Lilith, wait,” Eda said. Lilith paused in the doorway. In this light she really did look terrible, hair slightly tousled and bags under her eyes. Really, though, it was the way she was carrying herself. Eda recognized it. She should have realized before. “You’re in pain,” she said.

Lilith sighed. “I didn’t realize the curse came with…physical changes,” Lilith admitted.

Eda snorted. “So you just thought my hair went white and I started limping for no reason?”

“I don’t know what I was thinking,” Lilith said. She refused to make eye contact with Eda. “Does it ever go away?”

“You’re dealing with post transformation,” Eda said. “So this is the worst it’ll get. The headache goes away, the soreness gets better, but the fatigue and joint pain don’t ever really disappear.” 

Lilith sighed. “I was afraid you’d say that. So this is what you’ve been dealing with all these years?”

“Aaaactually,” Eda said, grin morphing onto her face, “this is only half the curse you’re feeling.”

Lilith paled. “What?”   
  
“Sharing is caring, sister,” Eda laughed, slinging an arm over Lilith’s shoulder. Lilith flinched slightly.

“So all this time, you were in pain. Every time we fought, every battle, every day, you were struggling with this. Because of me.” Lilith blinked heavily, fighting back tears.

“I mean, yeah,” Eda admitted. “I’m not gonna pretend like it didn’t suck. But you did something about it now.”

“Too late.”

Eda nodded. “Late, definitely, we can agree on that. But you never stopped looking for a cure, did you?”

Lilith looked down at the ground. “No. I never did.”

“Well, it doesn’t make up for cursing me in the first place, but it’s gotta count for something.” Eda said.

Lilith narrowed her eyes. “You’re being surprisingly nice to me about this. You should hate me.”

“I am being nice,” Eda conceded. “And we’ll see if I hate you. But it’s nighttime, we almost died, and you did give up a lot for me. We’ll see how I feel about it in the morning.” Eda grinned wickedly, hand reaching up and touching Lilith’s forehead. Lilith squeaked in confusion. “Besides, you do have a light fever.”

Lilith laughed a little, a grin ghosting her face. “That would explain the chills.” Quicker than expected Lilith’s hand reached out towards Eda’s face. “But so do you,” the older sister grinned, feigning innocence.

Eda laughed, a warm feeling settling in her chest. “Alright, enough of this. You’re exhausted, right?” Lilith nodded. “As are you.”

“As am I,” Eda acknowledged. “So let’s sleep. We can talk about this in the morning.”

In the light of the moon Lilith looked like she did when Eda woke up from the first transformation. Suddenly she knew why. It was guilt. It should have made her mad. It didn’t. All she could feel was longing for what she had lost.

“You promise?” Lilith asked, voice barely a whisper.

“I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is @come-unhinged


End file.
